Cycle Poland 2012 is over, and all that remains is to say an enormous thank you to everyone involved. 

Departure was delayed as Charlie conducted an experiment to see what happens when a bicycle tyre is inflated with utter contempt for the manufacturer's own opinion as to its correct pressure. Early results indicate that this generates a mini-pneumatic supernova dispersing pieces of inner-tube over much of central Europe and launching the valve into low orbit somewhere over Ukraine. The enforced break nevertheless provided some relief for those people who had the previous night attempted to lighten the support-van's load by drinking all the beer it was carrying. A sensible precaution, and one for which their mothers will be collectively proud, given that the route from Niedzwiedz to Krakow incorporated several steep climbs. It also afforded the opportunity for numerous photos of the Niedzwiedz sign, this being one of the few words that Cycle Poland riders learn to pronounce, for no apparent practical reason given it means bear and we have seen none along the way.

Our ranks were swelled by a number of volunteers from the Alma Spei hospice who joined us on the outskirts of Krakow and escorted us en masse into the city to be met at the central library by yet more volunteers and family members of the children under the care of the hospice; our arrival prompting the release of champagne corks with the kind of raw enthusiasm that risks sending low-orbiting tyre-valves into high-orbit somewhere over Siberia. Naturally, a substantial meal had been provided. The obligation to feed any visitor in any circumstance, and to assume that any guest has the dietary requirements of a grizzly bear, may in fact be written into Poland's constitution and would certainly suggest that Polish postmen must be enormously fat. Honour was nevertheless maintained on both sides as the cyclists attacked any edible substance like giant lycra locusts, before being ushered away for speeches and presentations. In hindsight it is possible that these were in fact hastily arranged when our hosts realised that we had finished eating what would ordinarily be considered food and were about to start on the furniture.

The hospice volunteers presented us with fantastic certificates, medals, and words of praise for completing the ride; although having seen some of the work the hospice does the medals really ought to have been travelling in the opposite direction. However, we were at least able to present them with seven huge boxes of catheters and tracheotomy tubes so balance was perhaps restored. The presentations came to a natural end when our hosts realised with dismay that they hadn't fed us for at least 30 minutes and gave us cake.

A sizeable part of the afternoon was subsequently spent packing up our bikes in preparation for the flight home. There may be some people who are interested in reading about the mechanics of bicycle storage, however since I have no interest in writing about it those people will have to look elsewhere. One cyclist did use this period as an opportunity to quietly dispose of his cycling shoes which had by now acquired the sort of odour that was both measurable on a Geiger-counter and in danger of attracting feral cats, certainly they could not have travelled through an airport without risking the lives of several sniffer-dogs. With the bikes stored the British and Polish cyclists said their goodbyes. Oily, sweaty hands were shaken and photographs taken. Prasan and Arek called a temporary ceasefire on their 9 day race to the top of every hill. It was noted with dismay that the support van had, for some undetermined reason, run out of beer.     

Day 8 started with a pleasantly surprising element of sunshine, and some lovely volunteers from the Gorlice hospice in equally sunshiny coloured tshirts who joined us for the first part of the day. On arrival in Gorlice itself we were directed by incredibly cheerful policemen to do a lap of honour of the town square and greeted by the mayor, before being treated to an enormous barbecue. Here the Cycle Poland team heroically continued their mission to eat their way across the country, and consumed their body weight in pork products and pierogi only an hour after an equally enormous breakfast. 

We also had an opportunity to meet Ania and Julcia, two of the children under the care of the hospice who will benefit from the two oxygen concentrators and suction pump that we delivered. It was really uplifting to hear Julcia's mum describe how the hospice had allowed her to spend time with her young daughter and provided the care and support to help her grow from a severely disabled baby to a smiling toddler.

The paparazzi were out in force again up the road in Bobowa and did not seem in the slightest bit phased by the sirens and admonitions of the local police who suggested that hanging out of the open boot of a car travelling at 60 km per hour on the wrong side of the road with a camera to photograph a group of cyclists might present some sort of road hazard. After the police were persuaded of the errors of their ways, the obligatory media engagements were dealt with, and vast amounts of ice cream consumed, we were off.

The afternoon brought some amazing views, sadly unappreciated by most as we struggled with a series of mountains that just kept on giving. On cruising into Limanowa it was all we could do to crawl into the local cafe and order far too much pizza decorated with an interesting ketchup arrangement. Then it was back on the bikes for more hills, and the remainder of the day's 160km. 

After the final turn off a few over-optimistic souls set off for a sprint finish, encouraged by the signs claiming the hotel was a mere kilometre or two away. This turned out to be a blatant lie, and only sheer pride resulted in a 7km uphill sprint finish. Having tried yet again to defeat the might of Arek "Killer" Podhorodecki on the day's climbs Prasan at this stage declared himself to be entirely broken. 

Determined not to let exhaustion get the better of them a small Cycle Poland contingent decided to join in with the young persons disco going on in the dining room and danced to such Polish classics as "let's walk barefoot" and "mr president and mr mayor", played in an upbeat folk rock style. Never ones to let facts hold them back, they also tried to introduce jaegerbombs to the Polish drinks repertoire, despite the complete lack of either jaeger or red bull at the bar. A quick conga later and in an uncharacteristic bout of sensibility, our brave cyclists decided their work was done, and retired to bed.

Today’s highlight was Brzozow. A town that defies pronunciation to anyone whose first language is not Polish. This was not the destination but effectively dominated the day. The police were waiting for us 10km before we reached town, prompting the more “street” members of the group, in some kind of reflex reaction, to make for the nearest hedge. Turned out they were not hostile, but were in fact an advance welcome committee; joined shortly by an ambulance, who formed a rolling road-block that escorted us into town. Upon arrival we were greeted by a welcome banner, marching band, dancing-girls, a collection of local dignitaries, the Polish military, news crew, and national radio; who proceeded to lead us triumphantly into the town square. The effect was in no way undermined by the undeniably challenging logistics of leading a large group of cyclists into a busy urban environment at a speed governed by a marching band, in fact arguably the spectacle was enhanced by various individuals falling off during the slower-numbers, and a trombonist narrowly avoiding being rear-ended by a bicycle every time the band paused momentarily to allow the dancing girls to perform a particularly challenging routine.

A stage had been set up in the town square. This was occupied for about ½ hour by a variety of performing arts groups. They performed entirely in Polish, making an assessment of their quality somewhat difficult, however their enthusiasm cannot be doubted. The finale was rendition of the Celine Dion classic “My Heart will go on,” this was both novel and spirited; whether this was also some kind prayer for our safety given the likely effect of the hills that awaited us on the outskirts of town remains open for debate. We gave the town’s hospice an oxygen concentrator; at this point we were unaware of the impending terrain, had we been so, it is possible we would have kept it. After the, by now obligatory, but ever welcome, majestic lunch, we were on our way.

Or least we thought we were. The local police chief, in between apprehending villains, runs a cycle proficiency course, via copious lobbying he had persuaded the powers-that-be to construct a miniature road system. Very worthy, very 12km out of our way, very hard to refuse the invitation when its pressed upon you by the local chief of police.

An unexpected downpour prompted a sudden experiment to see how many people could fit within a bus-shelter. Early results indicate that all cyclists can be accommodated provided that those waiting for a bus are prepared to stand outside. Passenger’s apparent indignation somewhat misplaced given that this state of affairs will facilitate boarding in the event that a bus arrives.

Once the thunder and lightning passed the Cycle Poland crew rolled on, with a glorious descent with views across the whole valley. The golden hour light returned as we drew into our glamorous three star coaching inn, complete with fancy gold throws, a wedding banquet and the end of the Poland Euros match.

Following an amazing agro breakfast including brilliant scrambled eggs we filed out of the kitchen to start day six. At the start line David “scratched” his lower ankle...this was closely followed with a few words of frustration. The ride out of the village was paired with the weather treating us to an amazing sunny road. The views at the start were inspiring and energising.  Throughout the first leg we encountered undulating roads with spectacular views. Gabriel provided us with a well earned break. His rear tyre was spent.  

Riding the second leg gave the group more amazing views across the valleys only to later ride up the big hills to get out. Before the reaching the top of the hill Ewa was fiddled by a bee which entered through her unzipped, inviting cycle top. At the top of the hill was an official Polish viewing site, although I had to look at the symbol five times to realise it was a pair of binoculars and not a heli-pad. Our descent led us straight to lunch, where we had tense moments waiting for our numbered orders to be called. As we waited Gabriel was having a game of chase with the big dog who modelled a ponytail. A few of the group left earlier to stretch a massive lead and this was later smashed by the group that chased them down.

Arek led all the way to the next stop and staying on his tail helped avoid the big rain. On the positive side, hot drinks were a well earned respite. While this stop was relaxing the main sight was a t-shirt that read “A refugee camp in the heart of the city”.

The road ahead gave us more of a relaxing downhill gradient, but this lasted for a tiny bit. The hills continued with an interesting bear sign followed by torrential rain that cut your face on the descents. Wait for it...the sun brought smiles to everyone’s faces. An even bigger smile was seeing the Avis van waiting outside our fabulous hotel situated near Ukraine in the Bieszczady national park in the back end of Poland. See you tomorrow!  

Lots of love and care, Prasan your “sore bottom” cycling correspondent

Avid followers of this blog will have observed that Team Cycle Poland 2012 endured Day 4 in torrential rain.  So it was with some trepidation that the team awoke early on Day 5 to a mountain valley shrouded in cloud.  An early morning breakfast was spent downing hot coffee as skin was reintroduced to damp lycra (despite having had to pay our kind hosts extra to put the heating on, sopping kit had not fully dried which made getting dressed especially pleasurable).

A steep descent from the hotel guaranteed that the residents of Krynica were awoken by a shrill screeching from our brake pads, however, this moment of pleasure was short-lived as we soon began a non-descript climb through non-descript Polish cloud.  Reader, my mind has blanked out this section of the day and the next moment I can remember is a glorious descent into Slovakia beneath lifting clouds and past picturesque valleys, ancient villages and snoozing border guards.  It was on this descent that Dave Anderson broke a land speed record (his) by clocking 46.5 mph on his techy gadget thing.

A puncture (Charlie Reid’s rear tyre) in our first major Slovak town brought us back to earth with a bump. Despite Ewa and Sam’s valiant assistance, the first replacement inner tube split almost instantaneously – so much for Ewa’s cheap tat – a twice patched inner saved the day and remains inflated as I write. The consequence of the puncture was that the main group peleton was some 25 minutes ahead of Ewa, Sam and Charlie.  So began the epic chase across Slovakia; the sun came out and the three comrades bashed out 50 odd kilometres in record time to reach the front of the group as it reached the Polish border (conveniently located at the top of a long rutted hill frequented by excessively fast HGVs).

After a random road-side lunch, where several team members snoozed over their food, the team made great pace as the sun finally returned to south-eastern Poland. We cruised through valleys filled with lush meadows knee-deep with yellow and purple flowers.  Cappucino coloured cows lowed; dogs barked aggressively as is standard across Poland.  The road wove its way between verdant hills and deer bounded across the open farmland.

The bucolic idyll was sustained as we hauled into Komancza – past the ornate wooden Orthodox church in the back end of nowhere.  Our agro-turystyka accommodation consisted of 4 wooden cottages in a field (think Little House on the Prairie) with a surprisingly good hot water supply.  Dinner was held in the owner’s house – down the hill and on the left – and we were literally squeezed into a kitchen with fetching embroidered horses on the wall. The food was absolutely delicious: carrot stuffed pork is an absolute winner (as Dave can vouch).

It was at this point that we said farewell to Jez, whose 2012 cycling efforts have been curtailed by a wedding back home.  Rousing speeches were made, tears shed, yawns stifled as Jez’s curtain-call drew on.  A very shiny medal was presented and we all cheered.  We would have sung but we were in someone’s house and it felt rude.  It was also the last night for Renata and Ania, who had joined us for the day from Krynica.

A reduced team climbed the hill back to their shacks for an early night in preparation for Day 6...

Day four of Cycle Poland 2012 could probably be summed up in one word... unfortunately for everyone involved that word was “wet”. However I will endeavour to provide further words and information for all you avid blog followers out there.

After a hearty hotel breakfast we climbed out of the resort town of Zakopane (our resting place for the previous night) and quickly reached the highest altitude that we will be reaching during this trip - in the beautiful Tatra mountains. The weather unfortunately had decided to follow the “English Summer” style, and consequently persistently rained and drizzled throughout the day. At least the Brits felt at home cycling in these conditions!

After descending from our high point and passing some impressive lakes we spent much of the day following the mighty Danube down river and racking up the mileage whilst trying not to get too downhearted by the rain. As luck wouldn’t have it, today was also our longest daily total cycling distance – with us having covered a gruelling 140km in total by the end of the day.

One of our highlights of the day was taking some refuge in a friendly traditional road-side restaurant. It is amazing what a hot-chocolate and some traditional bigos can do to raise even the dampest of spirits.

Post-lunch found the Cycle Poland team making good progress to our first commitment for the day – a visit to the newly-built residential hospice at Nowy Sacz. Upon arrival the press were out in force to photograph and interview the damp cyclists, and the hospice staff and volunteers provided us with some much needed refreshments and warm food. After which we were able to hand over the equipment that we had been able to purchase to donate to this facility. We all left the Nowy Sacz Hospice being extremely grateful for the friendly welcome and hospitality provided to us, and impressed by what the local community has been able to achieve in establishing the hospice here.

Refreshed and ready for the final push we set off to cover the final miles before arriving somewhat exhausted at our resting place for this evening – the spa town of Krynica, where I am sure we will all be heading out for a well earned beer.

Today has also been something of a rarity in Cycle Poland 2012, in that we spent the entire day in Poland rather than jaunting across the border into one of the neighbouring countries.

I think it is fair to say that today has highlighted the “challenge” aspect of the Cycle Poland 2012 expedition. Thankfully everyone has been able to step-up to this challenge – though I am sure we are all hoping that the weather plays a little fairer over the next few days as we continue to cover some serious mileage and explore the wilds of the south-eastern corner of Poland.

Andrew P Wood, Tuesday 5th June 2012.

With the usual hustle and bustle of 20 cyclists preparing to get away for a day’s ride we got ready to leave our hotel Korbielów on day three of our expedition glancing hesitantly at the dark sky and early morning drizzle. In fact, those still frantically searching for pieces of kit needn’t have bothered, as in keeping with all great adventures an executive decision had already been made to give it 15minutes till the rain cleared up. This proved to be a good choice as almost exactly 15minutes later, the rain lightened up and we were able to set-off towards the Slovakian border, in a fairly dry state.

Having spent 30minutes climbing up to the Slovakian border post, the majority of the morning was then spent cruising through the Slovakian country side and then around the ‘Jez Orawskie’ a large man made reservoir north of the town of Tvrdosin. Whilst the morning largely passed without incident, we were briefly treated, during our breaks, to both the world’s most efficient car park attendant, who monitored our every move while leaning our bikes up in a local town square and also the world’s least efficient team of road workers who took approximately 20minutes to simply upright a new road sign – still leaving half the panels missing!

Not long after our encounter with the road-workers, we crossed back into Poland and were now on the home straight, heading up the road to the picturesque town of Zakopane. After the gentle climb up to the end of the valley we reached our destination, all be it with a clash of bikes between two Cycle Poland veterans. Luckily no major injuries were incurred and we continued to our hotel, arriving at a record early time of 2pm!

Arriving so early provided the time to see both the sights of Zakopane and fit in the prescribed ‘recovery beer’, as well as some traditional Polish cooking in the form of a late lunch. In some cases this did include at least three main courses; carbo-loading ahead of tomorrow’s 140km!

So, today has been a series of highs and lows. Highs included visiting the town of Zywiec, home of the eponymous Polish beer, and discovering that at least half the town appears to be dedicated to its production. Sadly this also sowed the seeds of the day’s lowest point as we subsequently left Zywiec without touching a drop of the good stuff. Your correspondent’s view of the next 20km was obscured by tears of bitter disappointment. Zywiec was certainly not a waste however, as we visited the hospice, were entertained royally by the volunteers and treated to an impromptu harmonica performance upon arrival, departure, and most junctures in between. We gave the hospice two oxygen concentrators; they gave us a lavish lunch and quantities of baked goods of such epic deliciousness that I conclude we got the better end of the bargain.

Cycling has also been a series of highs and lows, this has been entirely due to the terrain which has alternated between the direction of up and the direction of down, thereby forcing anyone cycling upon it to do likewise. Your correspondent is reliably informed that one of the upward parts contained an incline of 13%, he is unsure of the exact meaning of this, but on balance thinks these are the sort of figures that only really look good on a bottle of wine. In truth however we should be grateful to have survived 70-odd miles of cycling given that at one stage our navigator, the appropriately named Killer, apparently concluded that the motorway represented the most efficient route between two points by bicycle, before being dissuaded by a chorus of panic-stricken cries delivered in a variety of languages. In fairness he may have been distracted by a route that alternated repeatedly between Poland and the Czech Republic making it progressively harder to identify exactly what country, let alone road system, we were in. Following a lovely dinner and a couple of beers (sadly not from BeerTown), a certain someone managed to get himself and his daughter locked out of their room... This part of the story to be continued...

Tomorrow takes us to Zakopane. The route covers about 70/80 km. Earlier today, one of our number, Charlie, presumably in some oblique reference to saddle-sores was heard to complain that he felt like he had, “a post up his arse”, at least it is to be hoped the complaint wasn’t literal, if it is, then given the Polish state’s propensity to lay cobbles on any surface larger than a coffee table, there is a chance that by tomorrow the post will be a permanent fixture. 

Lots of love,

Dave, your correspondent. 

After the late-night arrival of many of the participants, Cycle Poland 2012 got underway, despite a certain person falling off his bike before we even left the hotel, who shall not be named for the sake of preserving his remaining dignity. However, I can reveal that his name begins with P- and ends with  -rasan. After a rather late start due to some people (DAVE) thinking that an 8.40 am start meant a 10.30 am lie-in, we were underway.

After a few mishaps assembling the bikes, we cycled to the first hospice in Bielsko, via a cobbled hill (great fun in the morning), and to a lavish breakfast. We met the volunteers from St. Camil’s Hospice, where it all started, and walked to the building site of a new residential hospice. Though not yet finished, it has noticeably progressed from last year, and is hopefully due to open in 2014, when it will be a real benefit to the community of Bielsko-Biala. Following our hospice visits, we cycled to Gemini Park, a local shopping centre, where we were greeted by a fantastic crowd of enthusiastic cyclists, hospice supporters, friends and family. Highlights of the opening ceremony at Gemini Park included a singing children’s choir, interesting face paint choices, and traditional Polish dances supported by a particularly enthusiastic teacher. We all ended up onstage ourselves (clearly our natural home, due the gracefulness with which we ascended it) to present equipment and funds to the Bielsko hospices. All of us, that is, apart from Jez, who bought some very last-minute cycling gear including some rather brilliant red shorts in team colours.

After the ribbon was cut, we left for the first stretch of CP2012, joined by dozens of locals, which was a brilliant sight to see, even some tiny, tiny children. Despite an incident in which we all got lost, despite the (fairly) clear ribbons displayed by someone who had cycled the route the day before, we all made it to the 5km point, where many of the local cyclists left us. We continued to the Bialy Krzyz pass, with more people leaving us as we got higher, with only the dedicated, die-hard cyclists (and me), making it to the MASSIVE HILL that led to the 900+m high pass. We recovered on a beautiful 7km long descent, and made our way to Cieszyn, our stop-over for the night, with only one puncture along the way (surprisingly not Janusz, for once). There, we met up with some hospice volunteers in the town square, and visited a girl under the care of the hospice: Dominika, aged 12. Along with seeing the hospices in Bielsko, this really helped to emphasise just how important the money raised is.

We finally limped towards the hotel, where we had a lovely dinner (food, yay!) with the hospice volunteers, who had made us some beautiful guardian angels. We all went to bed ridiculously early, although this didn’t necessarily help some people getting up the next day, who missed breakfast and had to run out of the door hurriedly eating a slice of bread... again, Dave. And Jez. Hopefully their punctuality may improve over time... hopefully.